分手總是讓人難受
Every breakup sucks,
只是難受程度有所不同
while some are worse than others,
不管怎樣 分手多少都會影響到我們
they all affect us in one form or another.
不論是和平分手還是憤怒分手
Whether it was an amicable or fury-induced split,
我們將為大家提供一些忘記前任的靠譜方法
we』ll provide you with solid tips on how to get over your ex.
1.（至少短期內）切斷與對方的聯繫
1. Cut off contact (at least for a while).
不論你是甩人還是被人甩
Whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee,
關係結束後依舊密切關注前任
it’s not healthy to keep tabs on your ex
是不健康的行為
once the relationship is over.
你也許想要成熟些 想要和前任繼續當朋友
You might want to be mature and remain on friendly terms with your ex,
但這樣你就不夠時間從分手中恢復過來
but you won’t give yourself enough time to heal from the breakup.
你要告訴前任 你需要點時間靜靜
Tell your ex that you』ll need space for a while.
你也該考慮把他們從社交媒體訊息中移除
You should also consider trimming them from your social media feeds
對他們取消關注或進行屏蔽
by unfollowing or muting their activity
以避免發生妒忌 念舊
to prevent potential instances of jealousy, nostalgia,
或者被動攻擊的行為
or targeted passive aggression.
2.開始一個新的愛好
2. Take up a new hobby.
恢復單身不一定是壞事
Being newly single doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
戀愛時
When you’re in a relationship,
屬於自己的時間變少了
you have less time for yourself
因為你把大部分時間花在了伴侶身上
since much of it is devoted to your partner.
另一方面 當你單身的時候
On the other hand, when you’re single
你可以更加深入地了解自己
you can get to know yourself more intimately.
你可以自由探索自己的興趣
You’re free to discover your interests and
把時間分配給你喜歡的東西
dedicate your time to whatever you want.
你有沒有一個你很想參加的課程
Is there a particular class or hobby that
或者一個你很想嘗試的愛好？
you』ve always wanted to participate in?
可能是動畫製作 繪畫 拼圖遊戲
Perhaps it’s animation, painting, puzzles,
園藝 體育
gardening, sports,
參加讀書俱樂部 甚至上劇院
a book club or even the theater.
有數不盡的愛好可選擇
The possibilities are endless.
學習一項新技能 設定一個新目標
Learning a new skill and acquiring a new purpose
將會讓你變得更自信 更獨立
will boost your self-esteem and independence.
3. 縱容自己
3. Pamper yourself.
盡情去吃零食 看老套電影吧
Indulge yourself in junk food and sappy movies
因為你的前任再也不會請你了
since your ex won’t be there to treat you anymore.
給自己放個假 和朋友去其他地方
Take a vacation, take a week or a weekend
放鬆一個周末 甚至一周
to relax somewhere with your friends.
泡個溫泉 讓自己忘掉
Take a spa day and rid yourself of the daily stresses
分手和日常生活所帶來的壓力
that pile on top of your relationship loss.
4. 對自己誠實
4. Be real with yourself.
利用自己獨處的時間 反省你們在分手前的關係
Use your time alone to reflect on your relationship before the breakup.
雖然你對前任以及你們共度的時間
Though you may have positive memories of your partner
還懷有美好的回憶
and that time you spent together,
但是你要記住 你們之所以分手
it is important to remember that there were problems that
一定是出現了什麼問題
inevitably drove you two apart.
也許你會想修復這段關係
While you might want to fix things,
但是你要接受你們倆可能根本不相配
accept that the two of you might simply be incompatible
而從長遠來看 分手才是最好的辦法
and that breaking up was the best course of action in the long run.
5. 向親友發泄
5. Vent to your loved ones.
你要有個有效的支持體系
It is important to have a decent support system
幫助你度過分手期
to help you through a breakup.
當你感到生氣或受傷的時候
When you’re feeling angry or hurt,
你的朋友可以同情你 提醒你不是一個人
your friends can justify your feelings and remind you that you’re not alone.
他們或許還能與你分享親身經歷 啟發你
They might even share some of their own illuminating experiences.
此外 研究表明 僅僅用言語表達情緒
Additionally, research shows that merely verbalizing your feelings
也能讓負面情緒緩解下來
can make negative emotions less intense.
6. 聽悲傷的音樂
6. Listen to sad music.
分手期間 你的大腦會被感傷的音樂所吸引
During a breakup, your brain is actually attracted to sad music.
一位素未謀面的藝術家都能用文字和音樂
When an artist you』ve never met can articulate your exact thoughts
表達出你的想法和情感
and feelings through words and sounds,
這足以證明你不是一個人
it’s proof that you’re not alone.
你也是人 所經歷的是人類共同擁有的經歷
You’re a human, sharing in a human experience.
此外 一項近期研究發現
Moreover, a recent study has found that
傷感的歌曲可以讓聽者平靜下來
sad songs can actually elicit peacefulness in the listener.
傷感的歌曲也會讓我們哭
t can also make us cry,
這是一種精神的宣洩 可以改善心情
which can be cathartic and mood-boosting.
所以 儘管去反覆聽聽分手歌單上的歌吧
So go ahead and listen to that breakup playlist on repeat.
7. 接受過去
7. Accept the past.
如果你們不是和平分手
If your breakup was less than amicable,
你對前任或許會懷有一些悔恨和敵意
you might be harboring some regret and hostility towards your ex.
你要給自己一點時間去哀悼
Allow yourself the time necessary to grieve,
但是不要讓自己被情緒吞噬掉
but be careful not to let it consume your identity.
怨恨不僅會助長抑鬱和焦慮的情緒
Emotional grudges not only contribute to feelings of depression and anxiety
還會對你以後的戀情造成負面影響
but they will negatively impact your future relationships.
你要原諒前任 原諒自己 繼續前進
Forgive your ex, forgive yourself and move on.
8. 就算依舊愛着前任也沒關係
8. It’s okay to still love your ex.
分手最糟糕的部分 就是前任明明傷害了你
The worst part of a breakup is the dissonance from hurting over your ex’s actions,
你卻因為對方離去而感傷
yet hurting that they’re gone.
分手並不意味着你們之間的愛完全逝去
Breaking up doesn’t mean that the love between you is completely dead.
不論是在一起了幾年還是幾個月
Whether it’s been a few years or a few months,
你們倆曾一起製造過回憶
the two of you made memories together
並且曾在彼此生活中扮演過重要角色
and played significant roles in each other’s lives.
不幸的是 僅僅有愛是不夠的
Unfortunately, love just isn’t enough
很多不同的因素才能促成一段關係
and there are many things that factor into making a relationship work.
你要明白 愛有時要希望對方得到最好的
Understand that love sometimes means wanting the best for each other,
而有時候 這就意味着必須分手
and sometimes that means breaking up.
9. 接受下一段感情
9. Feel good about the rebound.
2014年的一項研究發現 分手後開始另一段關係的人
A 2014 study found that people who rebounded with a new partner after a breakup
比分手後長期保持單身的人
reported a better sense of well-being than those
覺得更幸福
who stayed single for long periods of time afterwards.
但是參與研究的人是在第一次分手後
However, the rebounds in this study happened approximately
等了約7個月才開始下一段關係的
seven months after their first breakup.
因此 雖然在向前走之前要治癒好心傷
Therefore, while it’s important for you to heal before moving on
但你也要保持開放心態
stay open to new possibilities,
不要因為放不下前任就拒絕新的戀愛機會
don’t turn away a new chance at love because you’re hung up on your ex.
分手總是很難 但並非不可度過
Breakups are always hard but they aren’t impossible to get through.
你可以的！
You can do it!
你有哪些其他方法可以分享？
Do you have any tips to share that aren’t on this list?
請在下方評論區分享
Feel free to share them by writing in the comments section down below.
評論列表
我一直有關注，真的很有幫助
老師，可以諮詢下嗎？