520最實用攻略——解鎖人際親密感的產生(中英雙語)

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在希臘神話的傳說里,只要被長着翅膀的愛神丘比特用箭射中,任何男女就會陷入深愛。但在現實生活中,你相信有這樣的「丘比特之箭」,能夠讓愛情有捷徑可循嗎?

一位美國心理學家將告訴你:只要回答完這36個問題愛情不僅能夠速成,實驗還能創造愛情!

美國心理學家 Arthur Aron 博士,在《人際親密感的產生:實驗程序及部分初步發現》一文中,曾設計了一個實驗:他讓參與實驗的陌生人,兩兩分組坐在一起,在45分鐘內,讓他們彼此提問並回答36個問題,回答之後讓彼此凝視4分鐘。最後,通過調查問卷,向參與實驗的人,了解實驗雙方對彼此的親密感,並進行了追蹤調查。

實驗結果發現:

520最實用攻略——解鎖人際親密感的產生(中英雙語)

有30%參與實驗的人,在聊完36個問題後,表示他們和一起參與實驗人的關係已經超過了他們人生中和其他人的任何一段;一段時間之後,有37%的實驗者,在上課的時候坐在了一起;而有35%的實驗者,在問答過後,已經開始約會。還有一對實驗者,在六個月後就結婚了,他們邀請了所有參與實驗的人,都去參加了他們的婚禮。

Arthur Aron博士的這個「愛上陌生人」的實驗,後來被很多人所效仿。一位大學教授Mandy Len Catron,和剛認識的一位陌生男人,嘗試了此實驗,結果迅速培養出感情,墜入情網。她把自己的經歷,在《紐約時報》的情感專欄上發表了文章《只要你這麼做,想愛上任何人都可以》,隨後這系列的36個問題在各種社交網絡上走紅,引起了眾多人的興趣與試驗,被稱之為「愛上任何人的36個問題」。

甚至在情景劇《生活大爆炸》的第八季中,主角謝耳朵和佩妮也坐在一起,玩了一把這個心理實驗的遊戲。

社會心理學家早已發現,當你對一個人傾訴得越多,在情感上你就越容易依賴並且信賴Ta。而人與人的親密度,會因為自我披露而提升。借着520,和你身邊的人來試試這36個問題吧~

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

假如可以選擇世界上任何人,你希望邀請誰共進晚餐?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

你希望成名嗎?在哪一方面?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

撥打電話前,你會先練習要說的話嗎?為什麼?

4. What would constitute a 「perfect」 day for you?

對你來說,怎樣才算是「完美」的一天?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

上一次唱歌給自己聽是什麼時候?唱歌給別人聽又是什麼時候呢?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

假如你能夠活到90歲,並且你可以選擇讓你的心智或身體在後60年一直停留在30歲,你會選擇哪一個?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

關於未來你可能怎麼死,你有自己的秘密預感嗎?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

列舉3個你和伴侶共同擁有的特質。

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

你的人生中最感恩的事情是什麼?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

假如可以改變你成長過程中的任何事,你希望有哪些改變?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

用4分鐘的時間,儘可能詳細地向伴侶講述你的人生故事。

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

假如明天早上明天一覺醒來能獲得任何一種能力或特質,你希望是什麼?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

假如有顆水晶球能告訴你關於自己、人生、未來或其他任何事的真相,你想知道什麼?

14. Is there something that you』ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

有什麼事想做很久了?還沒去做的原因是?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

你人生最大的成就是什麼?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

友情中你最重視什麼?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

你最珍貴的回憶是什麼?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

你最糟糕的回憶是什麼?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

如果你知道自己將在一年內突然死去,你會對目前的生活方式做出一些改變嗎?為什麼?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

友情對你而言意味着什麼?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

愛和感情在你生命里扮演什麼樣的角色?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

和伴侶輪流分享各自認為對方擁有的比較好的性格特點。各自提5點。

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

你的家庭關係親密溫暖嗎?你是否覺得自己的童年比大部分人快樂?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

你自認為與母親的關係如何?

Set III

25. Make three true 「we」 statements each. For instance, 「We are both in this room feeling ...

說出3個含有「我們」並且符合實際情況的句子,比如「我們兩人在這個房間裡都感覺到……」。

26. Complete this sentence: 「I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... 「

完成這個句子:「我希望有個人可以跟我分享……」。

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

如果想與伴侶成為密友,請告訴他或她需要了解的重要的事。

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you』ve just met.

告訴伴侶你喜歡他或她的什麼地方(回答此題必須非常誠實,要說出你可能不會對剛認識的人說的事)。

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

和伴侶分享你人生中尷尬的時刻。

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

上次在別人面前哭是什麼時候?自己哭又是什麼時候?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

告訴伴侶,你現在喜歡他或她什麼地方。

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

有什麼事是絕對不能開玩笑的?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

如果你今天晚上就會死掉,而且無法與任何人聯繫,你最遺憾還沒有告訴別人什麼事?為什麼還沒說呢?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

你的房子起火了,你所有的東西都在裡面。在救出所愛的人和寵物後,你還有時間可以安全地搶救出最後一件東西。你會拿什麼?為什麼?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

在你所有家人當中,誰的死對你的打擊會最大?為什麼?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

向伴侶提出個人生活中的一個問題,問對方遇到這樣的問題會怎麼做。同時也請對方告訴你,在他或她看來,你對這個問題的感受是什麼。

評論列表

頭像
2024-08-18 19:08:45

這個真的給我們很多幫助,特別是對愛情懵懂無知的年紀,可以讓我們有一個正確的方向

頭像
2024-07-19 02:07:08

可以幫助複合嗎?

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